Dread Pirate Robert

Happy Birthday Morris!

2010-06-13T21:06:00.000-07:00

Wow, Morris is two years old and just had a party with about 14 kids from the neighbourhood and one from Vancouver. And I thought that since I only invited 5 children, it'd be a quiet day...

My boys are so good. Shared toys, ate cake and candy all day with no meltdowns, and were nice and exhausted by bedtime. Me too, or I'd post some new pictures, and they're worth it.

Vuvuzelas and the 2010 World Cup in South Africa

2010-06-13T21:01:00.000-07:00

Omigod, there's a giant swarm of killer bees in the stands! In every stadium in South Africa... oh, wait. It's the vuvuzelas.

"I don't know if I'm the only one who found excruciating this constant droning that was going on. They were blowing these trumpet-looking horns and it never ended. It was like you're being attacked by a swarm of locusts for 90 consecutive minutes. It never went away," said ESPN's Mike Greenberg.

Well, I guess some people find them more annoying than I do. There's a Facebook group to ban them, and it's going to have 100,000 members by morning. Sheesh.

That said, Germany's up two goals on Australia and it's not halftime yet. Back to the TV!

Grammy's Christmas Cactus

2009-11-17T20:59:00.000-08:00

If it's November, the Christmas cactus must be blooming.

Yup, just like clockwork, this ancient plant, having spent the previous 11 months neglected and dusty, bursts into full bloom. It doesn't seem to matter where it is in the house, or care that it's spent another full year stuck in that same tiny pot, because it just likes it that way.

We inherited this old girl from Erin's Grammy. Erin remembers seeing it at Grammy's house when she was 3 or 4 years old, so we're figuring this here Christmas cactus is almost 50 years old, or at least older than we are.

The really amazing thing is that since we got it in the mid-90's, we've never reportted it. Frankly, I'm scared to take it out of the pot, for fear of upsetting the plant's cozy surroundings. Plus, I don't know the first thing about taking care of a cactus.

If this one's taught me anything, it's to just ignore them. So they can surprise you once a year. And remind you to start thinking about Christmas shopping.

Happy International Talk Like a Pirate Day!

2009-09-19T09:19:00.000-07:00

Arr, ye. Tis here again, me mateys: International Talk Like a Pirate Day 2009!

As always, the must-see links of the day are compiled at Frank's Web Zen site. Once again, I am in awe. Or, I should say, I am in Arrrr!

Hey, kids, find out what your very own Pirate Name is here! If you don't like it or it doesn't sound scurvy enough, try a quicker Pirate Name generator here!

Zac Efron is in town!

2009-09-18T08:18:00.001-07:00

Yup, it's a small town, and a big movie star is here. And EVERYONE is talking about Zac Efron filming here.

Hello people! Kim Basinger is here too! Anyone ever hear of her? No, because the vast majority of people who care are 12 year old girls.

Speaking of the tweenies, I felt horrible yesterday, driving by and seeing every girl in town between the ages of 11 and 16 standing outside a set, hoping for a wave from Zac. Sadly, I heard they were disappointed.

However, if you were a 40 year old woman, celebrating your birthday (Happy Birthday Tonya!) by going to a nice restaurant last night...

Hah! Eat it, tweenies!

Besides, the two twelve-year-old girls on my street are part of the Meryl Streep fanclub... more on that later.

Hey, did you know that Zac Efron has four nipples? I wish he would have flashed the camera...

Yes, our tiny town has become "Quincy Harbor" and the iconic Molly's Reach restaurant, made famous in The Beachcombers, is now "Flynn's Reach", at least for a week until the excellent film crew paints it back to normal. Cheers guys!

How to Take Better Photographs... The Basics. For Beginners. And the Obtuse.

2009-06-18T08:21:00.000-07:00

Ivar Gravlejs is a photographer; he's been doing it for a long time, and has it down.

Still, that doesn't prevent him from looking at photography from the point of view of an absolute know-nothing beginner. "Dummy" doesn't begin to describe it... these tips are more for time travelers from the distant past who've never seen a camera, or possibly shaved apes.

Hilarious, painfully obvious, and great pictures abound... at least, half of them are great pics...

How to take pictures, for REAL Dummies and lower life forms.

Happy Towel Day 2009

2009-05-25T09:15:00.000-07:00

Don't Panic. As all the hoopy froods out there know, today is Towel Day.

A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapors; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a miniraft down the slow heavy River Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (such a mind-boggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.

Happy Towel Day everyone!

Links for further reading:
Towelday.org website
Flickr Towel Day Photoset
H2G2

The Best Internet Meme Since Bloodninja

2009-05-21T09:05:00.000-07:00

The Ballad of Douche Quadbike. That's not what the original video was called (that's here), but the response to this guy spamming links all over the internet has turned this into the best story I've read in a while.

1. Watch this (barf bag handy).
2. Then, the video response by Sanchez that started it all.
3. And, to heighten your pleasure and waste even more of your time, take a look at the Cracked forum.

Hope that brightens your day. Wipe away your tears of laughter and go about your business.

Oh, and of course, there's the Hitler version too...

Oh, and in case you are unfamiliar with the work of Bloodninja, here you go: The Bloodninja Chronicles. Be sure to put on your robe and wizard hat.

Finally, the children.

2009-03-23T09:30:00.000-07:00

Oh Dread Pirate Robert, when will you post more pics of your adorable offspring? Right now.

Without further ado, Here's Morris on a sunny day, dressed in a hat that is marginally too big for him, but doubles the adorability quotient. It's a mathematical certainty.

As for Milo, he's been taking more pictures than posing for them. Video seems to be the preferred medium for catching him in action, although his self-portraits are pretty cool. Most of the ones he takes of us chop out half our faces, because he starts dropping the camera as soon as he presses the shutter.

Why I Became a Teacher

2009-03-09T12:34:00.000-07:00

From an interview with Alan Moore:

All too often education actually acts as a form of aversion therapy, that what we're really teaching our children is to associate learning with work and to associate work with drudgery so that the remainder of their lives they will possibly never go near a book because they associate books with learning, learning with work and work with drudgery. Whereas after a hard day's toil, instead of relaxing with a book they'll be much more likely to sit down in front of an undemanding soap opera because this is obviously teaching them nothing, so it is not learning, so it is not work, it is not drudgery, so it must be pleasure. And I think that that is the kind of circuitry that we tend to have imprinted on us because of the education process.

And that is the kind of circuitry we need to change, by making sure kids know how FUN and useful learning really is.

A Momentary Meditation on Tattoos

2009-03-05T12:38:00.000-08:00

As per our conversation today, I tracked down one of my favourite Life in Hell cartoons of all time...

The Dread Pirate Robert is returning to regularly scheduled blogging.

Misson Accomplished... by Todd Snider!

2008-10-30T20:30:00.000-07:00

Todd Snider's new album, "Peace Queer," is available for free download until the end of October 31. And it's great.

Can't talk, Facebooking...

2008-10-24T12:58:00.000-07:00

I know it's been said before, but LOL.

Cartoon by Ape Lad (Adam Kolford) at http://apelad.blogspot.com.

President Obama

2008-10-23T08:50:00.000-07:00

Who is that guy? That's the President of the United States.

This photo just makes me happy.

Rules for Grammar Geeks

2008-10-07T10:05:00.000-07:00

I think this may be the second time I've taken a blog post by Miss-Cellania and I have no doubt I'm going to do it again.

Not a new list, but thanks to the Intertubes, everything old is new again. And still funny.

Literary Rules

Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.

It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

Avoid clichés like the plague. (They're old hat)

Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.

Be more or less specific.

Remarks in brackets (however relevant) are (usually) (but not always) unnecessary.

Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.

No sentence fragments.

Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.

Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.

One should NEVER generalize.

Comparisons are as bad as clichés.

Don't use no double negatives.

Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

One-word sentences? Eliminate.

Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

The passive voice is to be ignored.

Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.

Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.

Kill all exclamation points!!!

Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.

Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth shaking ideas.

Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.

Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.

Puns are for children, not groan readers.

Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

Who needs rhetorical questions?

Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

Life in Canada

2008-10-06T07:54:00.000-07:00

Two photos completely unrelated to each other, except for the fact that they arrived in my inbox this morning.

First off, this is where I live. Far, far away from civilization, not a soul around for... oh wait, you can see the houses on the beach? All right, this is right around the corner from my house.

And this one, well, I have to confess I've been following the American election more closely than our own Canadian one, and then I see this photo.

Of course, my first thought was to insert Dick Cheney's face in place of Prime Minister Harper, and then I zoomed in on the image to see if Mr. Harper was drooling, or if I could see the bloodlust in his eyes... maybe some sign that he was planning on slurping the lifeblood out of the kitten, but no, nothing. Musta been photoshopped out.

Yes, it IS that cheesy.

Milo is... Luke Doucet and the White Falcon!

2008-10-03T10:30:00.001-07:00

Okay, so he may not be entirely accurate, but it was awesome watching him take what we told him about his new hat, and just run with it. Literally.

Pirates really and truly making the world a better place

2008-09-25T13:17:00.000-07:00

Wow, I think this may be the single greatest thing to come out of International Talk Like a Pirate Day.

According to the Arkansas Times:

What do you do to make a bunch of soulless nutcases abandon their post at the Convention Center? Send in the pirates!

Yep, the cuckoo Phelps hate group walked the plank this morning after a happy bunch dressed like pirates and holding signs saying "God hates shrimp -- Leviticus" and "God hates cotton-polyester blends" stood opposite them at the corner of Markham and Scott streets. The group, made up of Central Arkansas Pastafarians, waved swords and growled "Arrghh!" in a manner that would have made Abbie Hoffman proud.

With cars honking and waving at the pirates and a TV crew giving them all the attention, the Phelps group -- with a child in tow, sadly -- picked up their "fag" epithets and went away. Pitiful.

It just goes to show that Pastafarianism combined with grassroots community activism can defeat the wingnuttiest wingnuts the Republican party can dish out.

And no one, anywhere, can take a shot at Arkansas without thinking about these brave pirates. More to the point, they look like they had a blast. And THAT'S what really counts.

Pirates of Arkansas, I salute you!

Pirate Cats

2008-09-19T15:40:00.000-07:00

And for my (presumably) last post before the ale and wenches take over, please allow me to celebrate International Talk Like a Pirate Day with...

Pirate Kitties. Set sail, mateys, and yo ho ho with a bottle of rum!

Robert Newton, father of Arrrrr!

2008-09-19T14:17:00.000-07:00

Presenting, for your Piratical amusement, the great Robert Newton, the reason we associate "Arrrr..." with pirates.

Google Loves Piracy!

2008-09-19T13:55:00.000-07:00

No, not that kind of piracy, the REAL kind... with pirates!

Check out the lastest from the Google blog...

It recently came to our attention that Google was not accessible to a large, influential, and notoriously quick-tempered community: Pirates. As of today we are proud and rather relieved to announce that Google Search is available in Pirate.

As you can see from this graph of the popularity of related searches from past years, we have reason to believe that this might be a timely addition:

If ye're a gentleman or lady o' fortune yerself — or just want t' talk like one — ye c'n set Pirate as yer preferred lingo usin' th' Likes an' Dislikes page, or cast yer deadlights on an example.

Posted by Cap'n Pam Greenebearde

And check out the spikes on that graph... International Talk Like a Pirate Day (weekend!) has truly arrived.

(And thanks to Cap'n Matt Cutts the Bloghearted for the news-grog.)

Pirate Haiku

2008-09-19T12:43:00.000-07:00

loot, plunder, rob, steal
today's financial markets
pirates are ideal

Courtesy of Piratejokes.net

The plank is ready:
It's "Talk Like A Pirate Day"!
Can you walk the walk?

A bold privateer
Seeks a booty beyond price:
Pirate underwear

Avast ye lubbers!
Face the pirate poet scourge!
Men of hai-kurage.

Seventeen quick breaths
Sixteen men on dead man's chest
One pirate haiku

Fearsome buccaneer,
12-year-old Brianna L.,
MP3 pirate.

-all the above written by Bart

Pirate Hip Hop

2008-09-19T10:28:00.000-07:00

Looking for some "Authentic Pirate Hip Hop" for your International Talk Like a Pirate Day party? (And I know you probably aren't but just in case...)

Here it is, courtesy of Captain Dan & the Scurvy Crew.

Pirate Zen 2008

2008-09-19T10:02:00.000-07:00

Thanks be to Chaoskitty, who compiles a list of piratical links every year on this date.

For the best in pirate zen, all hope abandon ye who enter here!

scurvy dog! 'tis pirate zen 2008

talk like a pirate day
british hq
savage chickens
second life
game
recipes
myths
soul
magazine
punchline pirates

International Talk Like a Pirate Day in the news...

2008-09-19T09:04:00.000-07:00

An article on the Newsblog Daily Kos has this incredibly awesome line in it:

Conservatives are flummoxed, both by Wall Street and by Palin's popularity numbers dropping. Arrr, Matey. Arrr.

Yup, that's how you do it, me hearties. (The link in the quote is actually there too!)

The Crimson Pirate

2008-09-19T08:22:00.000-07:00

Yarr, mateys. 'Tis International Talk Like a Pirate Day (and weekend) and what better way to celebrate than to revisit pirates of yore.

To wit, I give you a young, clean-shaven, well-oiled, slightly nancy-boy yet totally swashbuckling Burt Lancaster in... The Crimson Pirate. (It's only the teaser intro and the credits.)

It's International Talk Like a Pirate Day again!

2008-09-18T05:54:00.001-07:00

When September 19 falls on a Friday, that can only mean one thing: It's International Talk Like a Pirate WEEKEND!

For all the Lil' Pirates out there, storytime. Courtesy of Ol' Chumbucket and Cap'n Slappy...

Now that's some serious Pirattitude.

An Open Letter to the Youth of America

2008-09-17T15:54:00.002-07:00

Before I begin, let me just point out that there are more stupid Americans in the world than stupid Canadians. About ten times as many. This is partly because they outnumber us about 10 to 1, so just do the math.

Now I know that Canadians love to make fun of the "dumb American" stereotype, but we're well aware that the majority of our neighbours to the south are wonderful, kind, articulate, intelligent individuals, even if their government representatives sometimes send, shall we say, mixed messages.

I'd also like to point out that the biggest moron/idiot I met while on my many world travels was, I still cringe to recall him, a Canadian. Steve.

Imagine a drunken idiot far from home acting like a pompous ass to everyone he meets, especially the residents of the country he's visiting. But in this case, he's not an American pretending to be a Canadian (man, there are a lot of those guys too...), he's actually a Canadian. And he's telling everyone. I haven't been able to laugh at "dumb American" jokes since.

I don't know why I had to say all that, but I've been watching the coverage of the American Presidential Campaign and I have a lot of issues to work through. Seriously? Some of you will actually vote for McCain and Palin? Well, if 52% of you think that angels actually physically walk among us (and look like Michael Landon) and 54% of you think Elvis is still alive, I guess anything can happen.

After all, we elected Stephen Harper. Eeewwww.

Okay, that said, I'd like to reprint this open letter to the youth of American, written by Bill in Portland, Maine.

Dear America's Youth,

Hey! Sup? Got a minute? Right---of course you don't. Well, we're the adults here so put the skateboard down, take the iPod plugs out of your ears, sit down and pay attention.

You may have noticed that the country you live in has turned into a bit of a mess lately. Not to put too fine a point on it, um, dudes and dudettes, but we're out of money, people are losing their homes and jobs and selling their bling to get by, we're mired in two endless wars, the planet's baking to a crisp, and nobody knows what to do. In short, we appear to be fucked. We can use that word...we're adults.

Anyway, this is just a heads-up that your mission in life will be to clean up our mess.

I know what you're saying. "Hey, we didn’t crap this shit. Why do we gotta clean it up?!" First, watch your language. Second, we planned it. Let us explain.

You see, in order to build character and resilience and valuable "life skills," we must tear you down and then build you up. We must break your spirit, make your stuff worthless, and show utter disregard for your future. But when the time is right, we'll turn over the reins to you so you can fix everything. It's called "tough love," and we're doing it because we care. Quit slouching.

Now, we're not quite done ruining the country yet. That will take a little more time. So keep on doing what you're doing for now, but be ready to take over when we give you the signal. The signal, by the way, will probably look like a bunch of grownups jumping off of bridges.

I know this must all seem terribly daunting and inconvenient, but it's for your own good. If you don’t figure out how to rebuild the most powerful country on earth when it's been reduced to rubble, you'll spend your lives all spoiled and complacent and happy. Trust us...you'll thank us later for giving you this amazing opportunity.

Peace. Word. Wii.

---The Adults Currently In Charge Of Things

P.S. We'll give you a head start with this free tip. Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff: Zac Effron.

P.P.S. When China calls and demands their money back, you might be able to buy some time by offering them the Dakotas. Oh, and get a haircut.

And one more thing: Help Save the Youth of America, by Billy Bragg

Oh, and if you're really sick of vapid TV news, may I recommend the following news sites to cleanse your palate...

Daily Kos
Americablog
Shakesville
Crooks and Liars
Raw Story
Andrew Sullivan

Now you never have to throw things at Bill O'Reilly ever again.

Pirate Jokes

2008-09-17T15:54:00.001-07:00

Only two more sleeps... time to get ready! And that means having an arrrr-senal of Pirate Jokes at your disposal to elicit groans and giggles from people you meet.
Try here: www.piratejokes.net.

For example:

Q. How much did it cost for the pirate to get his ears pierced?
A. A buck-an-ear!

Oh yeah, I went there.

Bonus Joke:

Q. What was the pirate's favorite movie?
A. Starrrrrr Warrrrrrrs!

As soon as you recover, get to it and spread those jokes around. I mean, Arrrrr-ound.

Time to get the invitations out...

2008-09-11T09:21:00.000-07:00

With International Talk Like a Pirate Day fast approaching (Arr... can it truly be anoth-arr ye-arrr gone by, matey?) it's time to get ready.

To make things easy, here's a great collection of Pirate fonts, symbols and images to spice up your party invitations, ransom notes, and term papers. (Essays on Milton are sooo much more interesting when they're interspersed with skulls and crossbones... and teachers really appreciate the variety.)

September 19th falls on a Friday this year, so no excuses for not wearing full Pirate regalia to work!

Image, and breaking news, courtesy of Neatorama and Matt Cutts!

Mid-August Vancovuer Canucks Musings...

2008-08-15T11:29:00.000-07:00

Hmm... would you rather have Mats Sundin for $10 million per year, or take flyers on Mark Parrish and Glen Murray, when you could get both of them for about half the price?

Since Sundin's not coming anyway, I'd love to see Parrish and Murray here. One of them is bound to have a rebound year, and if both do, we rock again. Woo-hoo!

Elvis IS Everywhere!

2008-07-24T09:52:00.000-07:00

Yup, Elvis is everywhere... including, it seems, in Rome around the 2nd Century A.D.

Is this, or is this not, The King?

Image courtesy of Neatorama.

Oh Yeah...

2008-07-21T13:10:00.000-07:00

Uncle Brent and Auntie Shannon came to visit last weekend, and guess what Milo wants for his next birthday?

Milo's Third Birthday

2008-07-18T14:53:00.000-07:00

It's been almost a month since Milo turned three and I'm finally ready to show what the event looked like... or at least what the boy got in the way of presents.

First of all, something to help Daddy haul the lawn clippings.

The first time we went to dump our wheelbarrows, Milo wheeled his load of pine cones and dumped it, then we put him and his new wheelbarrow in my big one and I wheeled them both home.

All right, what idiot thought it would be a good idea to buy a three-year-old a real bugle? Oh wait, that was me...

Milo also got a cool bike helmet, decorated with skull stickers and all sorts of unique bike stickers designed and illustrated by Mr. Scott Dickson, of SDE (Scott Dickson Enterprises) fame.

The best present, however, was from Grammy and Grampy: a real Lightning McQueen and Mack truck mega blocks set. Just look at the joy on his face, and he still plays with it almost every day.

And I just happened to catch him blowing out the candles. Happy Birthday Milo!

Introducing Morris

2008-07-08T13:35:00.001-07:00

So what have I been doing with my summer? Well I'll tell you...

I've produced another child (with some help from my lovely and talented wife/milk provider), I've started working at Kidzsmart here on the sunny Sunshine Coast, and I've been playing baseball with Milo.

Here's proof of at least one of the above:

This is Morris. Today is the one-month anniversary of his birth. Yup, he's one month (31 days) old today!

And yeah, he's got a great big brother. Milo thinks it's hilarious that if he sticks his nose an inch or two from Morris' mouth, the baby tries to suck on it. It's like a game now... Milo does it, Morris takes the bait, and Milo gets to yell "Silly Morris, that's my nose, not a boobie!"

Milo is not being neglected at all. We went to a horse show and Milo got to wear his cowboy hat. Of course, he liked the horses.

Finally, it's true. Morris is not always grunting and squawking and mewling and puking... sometimes he looks absolutely angelic. Here he is with his Grammy, and they both look pretty darn happy.

Summer 2008 update: it's half over!

2008-07-07T15:26:00.000-07:00

Despite my best intentions, I have no new photos to post today. While adding some music to my iTunes folder here at work, I inadvertently restored the iPod settings, which deleted the new photos I was going to post here.

Oh well, I'll try again tomorrow.

Meanwhile, check out my new job!

Kidzsmart Concepts, here on the sunny Sunshine Coast, makes fun, educational custom branded colouring books, activity books, kids placemats, growth charts, and more (it's a bright and cheery place) for huge clients like the Ottawa Senators, BC Lions, 2010 Olympics, Boston Pizza, Telus, East Side Mario's, T.G.I.Friday's, and more that I'm just learning about, like this one for NCAA Basketball:

Check out the site at Kidzsmart.com, or the sister site at Kidsplacemats.com.

Oh, in case you're looking for baby news, Morris is 29 days old and doesn't want me to get enough sleep. Yes, pics tomorrow. :D

David is a giant!

2008-06-05T16:21:00.001-07:00

Originally uploaded by pinksaturn

Oh sure, as soon as I leave town, they start putting up gigantic posters in bus shelters of my friend Dave.

Attention people of Vancouver: I will pay someone to get me one of these posters! (But please don't vandalize a bus shelter to get one for me...)

Apparently David is the new face of the Vancouver Farmers Market, and eatlocal.org. It's one of the wonderful things about living in Vancouver, that you actually have more access to locally sourced organic food than I do now that I live out in the country. Sigh.

(Although when David and his family came to visit last month, we got a huge pile of farm-fresh goodies!)

Play Ball!

2008-05-28T15:20:00.000-07:00

Wow, time flies when you're expecting a baby.

May 24th (my pick) has come and gone, and it's still in her belly.

Milo, however, is on the move. Witness the new t-ball set: he creamed the ball on his first try! Even better, he likes to go get the ball himself. If I'd known that, I would have brought a beer.

Swing!

Look at that follow-through!

And this is the best shot I could get of an actual hit -- it's a rocket up the middle!

The sun! The sun!

2008-04-24T14:42:00.000-07:00

Wow, it's time for me to crawl out from under my rock (I have digital satellite TV under there, so at least I got the playoff hockey) and get outside.

The sun is coming, and it's about time. I was getting worried that all my baby strawberries would freeze.

Fortunately, they're doing well, if a little starved for sunlight.

C'mon, Mr. golden sun, please shine down on me! We want to go walking!

People still love Rick Astley

2008-02-29T18:44:00.000-08:00

What's up with that? The latest internet meme to make me laugh out loud:

I haven't heard from him since he released "Free," his first album after getting out of that horrendous record contract he had.

The internet is funny that way. You can write a blog post, then a year or two later, it can wind up on the front page of Digg. (Just ask Meg!)

Okay, yeah, I own more than one Rick Astley CD. And I'm going to rotate it right in there with Ween, Spoon, Billie, and Johnny Cash. Just try to stop me.

Our new neighbourhood

2008-02-29T09:37:00.001-08:00

I found the cable, and I'm good to go with photos. Now I'm thinking that I need a new camera... that Nikon DX looks nice. (Ahem. See that PayPal "donate" button there? Hint hint... :D)

First of all, Milo loved his Valentine's Day card from Grammy and Grampy. It had pirates on it! Now he wants "his" letter every time we go check our mail.

On our first walk to the beach at the end of our street (we ARE on Oceanview Drive, after all), we just made it for sunset. It was cold, damp, and windy, but what do you expect from the beach in February?

And the sunset was quite pretty too...

I suppose we made the mistake of luring Milo out of the house with the promise of a lollipop when we got there. So he gets one every trip to the beach now. That's not bad parenting, is it?

It's only about 15 minutes to the water, through a lovely path in the woods. And if we don't feel like the beach, there are lots of parks nearby, including one called Cliff Gilker Park that's a network of trails running between two little rivers.

Full of small waterfalls, benches, potential wading pools (when it's warmer), and amazingly green forest, it's a bit of a change from Commercial Drive.

We've got houseguests coming today -- our first since the grandparents -- so it'll be nice to have some company. I guess I better go buy some beer too.

And today is Tim and Ilka's wedding in Winnipeg! Congratulations and sorry I can't be there!

Three weeks and it feels like home

2008-02-21T07:50:00.000-08:00

We've slept in our new house for 20 nights now and it feels great. (Actually, I missed a night there because of Tim's stag party, but I'll make it up somehow.)

Our list of things to do is getting smaller and more long-term: replace the kitchen faucet, insulate the garage, fix the leaky bathroom faucet, figure out why some of the electrical outlets just don't work, get a new dishwasher... I guess it's not getting shorter after all.

But the living room in cozy, our bedroom is almost organized, and there aren't as many boxes kicking around as there used to be. And we've got houseguests this weekend, so they'll give us some perspective on it.

Milo loves it. He sleeps later, comes to snuggle in bed with us for fifteen minutes or so, then demands that we get up and feed him breakfast. Right now he's demanding that we take him to daycare, so I guess we will, and then it's down to work for us.

Sadly, we both need to work on our Dell laptops, because they're set up for remote access to the network drives at work, and we just have to look at our shiny new Macs.

Work, and all our friends in Vancouver, is now long distance via the phone lines so we've set up Skype accounts and I absolutely love it.

Not only can I call anyone in Vancouver for free, we can call the grandparents at Miracle Beach and in Chilliwack, the cousins in Indiana, and our friends in Toronto, Poland, Japan, Australia... My parents went and bought a little $40 video camera and made the mistake of making monster faces at Milo on our first video chat. Now he demands it every time. Fortunately, it's free, and we can do it every day. Better than TV.

Now if I could only find the little cable that connects my camera to my computer, I could get some pics up here. Must be in one of those boxes somewhere...

The move so far

2008-02-04T10:37:00.000-08:00

1. The movers (5 experienced, powerful young men) tried and tried to get our Queen sized box spring up the stairs. They gave up and said it was impossible without cutting out a large chunk of the bannister. We slept on the floor.

The next day, my parents, senior citizens on a mission, arrived. We slept on our very own bed in our new bedroom that night for the very first time. I'm glad I have their genes and muscles.

2. Hooray! Our house has a dishwasher! Let's run it...

We ran next door to get a plunger after it backed up and overflowed our kitchen sinks -- apparently it hadn't been run in several years and the pipes were FILLED with yucky black gunk. It also doesn't turn off and kept the dish dryer on for three hours until the plastics were almost melted.

It needs to be replaced ASAP.

3. After phoning Star Choice twice, and confirming (twice!) that my satellite dish would be hooked up and installed at our new house on Saturday, February 2, we received a phone call from the installer at 4:30 p.m. saying he was at the house and ready to install it. In Vancouver. At the house we just moved out of.

Even worse, they wouldn't be able to install the dish at the CORRECT address here in Gibsons until Tuesday.

Hey, can you think of any reason why I might have called to confirm explicitly that the dish would be up and running by Sunday? Super Bowl Sunday? Hmm? >_<

I can't type any more. I have too many boxes to open, and I'm trying to actually work from home today. I encourage your sympathetic comments.

MOVING

2008-01-29T16:29:00.000-08:00

For those of you who care, and don't yet know, we're moving. On Friday. To Gibsons, land of Beachcombers, Molly's Reach, Relic's jet boat, and Bruno Gerussi's medallion sparkling on a fuzzy bed of chest hair.

Hence the lack of posts.

However, my camera batteries are charged up and I'm ready to chronicle the last bits of the move, because the first gazillion bits were just so fun...

So, dear friends, here we go.

Nudeniks (Like Beatniks, but nude... c'mon people...)

2008-01-25T19:10:00.000-08:00

My son Milo, wearing his blue blankie as a cape: "Daddy, I'm a SUPER-nudenik!)

(Oh, yeah, he's butt nekkid about to get in the bath)

This is why I left my friends and co-workers at the pub and came home early.

The next President of the U.S.A.

2007-12-17T11:44:00.000-08:00

So who's it going to be?

Obama: The system sucks, but I'm so awesome that it'll melt away before me.

Edwards: The system sucks, and we're gonna have to fight like hell to destroy it.

Clinton: The system sucks, and I know how to work within it more than anyone.

(Succinct policy stances courtesy of Eschaton at http://atrios.blogspot.com)

For the record, I'm still pulling for Kucinich.

May you be touched by his noodly appendage

2007-12-10T16:38:00.001-08:00

Christmas is coming

2007-12-10T08:40:00.001-08:00

What? What's coming? Holy moley, it's that time of year again.

Milo is thrilled with his Playmobil advent calendar. Honestly, I am too. I just have to wait until he's out of the room to play with it. I've got a chocolate one at work so Mondays are good for me.

Ug, the shopping. First things first: what to get for Milo.

Okay, Milo needs some more stuff to watch, since the third season of The Muppet Show isn't out yet, and he's not ready to get into Samurai Jack, so here's what we're looking at:

Sesame Street: Old School, Vol. 1 - 1969-1974 -- because it's never on TV when we want to watch it! Although I'm a little worried at exactly how "old school" it's going to be.

Blue's Clues: Blue's Biggest Stories -- again, all Steve and no Joe... because we just don't believe Joe.

It's all made more complicated by our impending move -- we don't want to get/give more stuff that'll need to be packed.

Oh, and the whole moving-the-month-after-Christmas thing is really taking its toll on my blogging too. And my social life -- I tend to spend the weekends packing and organizing when I really ought to be shopping, drinking beer, and watching hockey. Oh well, maybe next year.

Milo had the best Halloween costume ever

2007-11-13T13:11:00.000-08:00

Hooray for finally uploading my Halloween pictures!

I know I already posted the pics of the trip to the pumpkin patch, but I can't stop looking at this one.

The seating for the stage was all hay bales, and I'm assuming that through experience, they learned that kids love to throw hay... so they set up a tent to do just that, and the hay fights were a highlight of the whole thing.

Okay, on to Halloween: just look at the determination and glee in that lil' alien's eyes...

Milo had so much fun it was crazy.

All the "First Halloween" stories played out as expected: he started walking into people's living rooms for the first few houses, when he started saying "Trick or Treat" he forgot to show (or open) his bag, and he got a little freaked out by some of the scarier masks.

And sorry, Grammy, but no one understood what he meant by "Charité, s'il vous plait." The heathens.

All told, this little gang of three had a blast. The chicken ate the most candy, the little kitten was the cutest, and Milo got plenty of "great costume!" compliments.

The best part was when the three of them just ran down the streets together, yelling and forgetting that they were supposed to be knocking on doors. Can't wait for next year!

You know you've been online for a long time when...

2007-11-06T11:28:00.000-08:00

1. You used to use HotBot as your main search engine.
2. You were giddy when you upgraded from a 14.4 modem to a 28.8. Whee! Lookit me now!
3. You kinda wish you could still see your old Geocities home page. (Or your Angelfire one, for that matter.)
4. Seven Cities of Gold for the C64 was, like, the best game ever. WAY better than Jumpman.
5. You have a Hotmail account with a five-letter word as your username, but you never use it because of all the spam.
6. "Press Play on Tape" is old-school computer lingo.
7. You cried when your fifteen-pound PowerBook 100 finally died. (Okay, so it was really closer to 6 pounds... but it felt like more.)
8. You still have a floppy disk (that's actually floppy) with MS-DOS on it in your office.
9. You still remember the code you wrote in BASIC to generate ability scores for your D&D characters.
10. You have a 5-digit ICQ account, but you haven't logged on in years.

Milo looks a little goofy

2007-10-23T09:28:00.000-07:00

Mom got home from work the other day and took off her cycling clothes. She put them on the couch, where Milo got hold of them.

Shoes and helmet, meet Milo.

I love how kids almost forget what they're wearing... especially when they look so hilarious.

And for everyone who ever heard us say how great a sleeper Milo is, we're getting our comeuppance. Milo is testing his boundaries, and one of them involves sitting in his bed at 2 a.m. or 4 a.m. and yelling for us to come and get him his blankie. Or some water. Or to ask what that thing on his dresser/bookshelf/floor is.

I need to buy that boy a night light so I can get some sleep.

Milo is happy wherever he goes

2007-10-19T07:29:00.000-07:00

Aah, the playrooms of BC Ferries. A slide (on most vessels), a couple of fiberglass boats and a car (fixed to the floor, except on one ship), and a room full of kids and parents.

It's way too boring for older kids, but two-year-olds like it just fine, for about half an hour. However, they've put TVs in many of them that now play a loop of Bugs Bunny cartoons. The difference between a room full of toddlers running and playing and making noise, versus a room full of toddlers all sitting and staring in the same direction, is disturbing.

And Milo can make funny faces. Here's he's actually trying to make a face, but in the next one, he's just chewing something while off-balance. It's a better picture, even if it does kind of make him look like a cartoon.

It's on...

2007-10-18T17:14:00.000-07:00

Game 5 of the ALCS features Josh Beckett of the Boston Red Sox starting against C.C. Sabathia of the Cleveland Indians -- two of the league's best pitchers all year long.

Why you should probably cheer for Boston:

The national anthem for tonight's baseball game is being sung by country music singer Danielle Peck.

In case you're wondering, she's Josh Beckett's ex-girlfriend.

Nice.

Another trip to the island

2007-10-18T14:22:00.000-07:00

When you have a backlog of cute photos, the only thing to do is to catch up en masse.

First up, Milo in his new Gramma-made fleece vest. He's actually wearing it today as well, and it's gonna fit him all winter.

Even when the weather forecast for the entire weekend is constant rain every day, we try to get to the park. Lo and behold, it actually got sunny for a few hours so we jumped on the opportunity and revisited the place where we were married.

In the middle of October you don't see too many people visiting Miracle Beach Provincial Park. I suspect it's because of the "beach" part.

The beach was lovely. We saw some spiders, a heron, an eagle, some ducks, a squirrel, and a garter snake that Milo tried to talk to. And when we were done, we all went in the hot tub!

Milo at the Pumpkin Patch

2007-10-18T07:46:00.001-07:00

Today the community centre we like to visit is going on a field trip to "The Pumpkin Patch" — a farm in Richmond that really gets into the Halloween spirit. Luckily, we took Milo on Sunday.

Now I'd never been before, but that was clearly a mistake. Milo had so much fun that we started talking about coming back next year.

The deal is that you pay your $10 (Milo was under 3, so he was free) and go through the gates. There are pigs, sheep, goats, ducks, and ponies (available to ride for a few bucks extra) to look at, a big centre stage with a live band, and a big 'ol farm ready to explore.

Important note: the stage has rows of hay bales to sit on, but kids aren't allowed to throw the hay there. They've set up a separate tent about 30 feet away JUST for throwing hay! Man, Milo could have stayed there all day, and he already knew about the tractors.

Speaking of tractors, it was time for the hay ride. We jumped on a big wagon pulled by a tractor (one hay ride included in your admission) and drove around the farm. Past the Transylvania graveyard, past the Pumpkin Princess' castle, to the corn maze.

Another important note: We arrived just before the place opened at 10 a.m. If you arrived at 11 a.m., you would have been waiting half an hour to get in, and another half an hour (at least!) for the wagons.

We wandered through the optional corn maze then headed to the furthest pumpkin patch, which was entirely deserted.

Also included in the admission was one pumpkin per person, and picking them out was the best part. Milo's not going to be able to carve one, but he's gonna dig it when it's lit up... as long as it's not too scary.

The Best Things About Today

2007-10-05T19:37:00.000-07:00

5. Sleeping in until after 7:30 a.m. (Okay, waking up at 5 a.m., then being able to go back to sleep, even though I didn't really fall back asleep... but I could have!)

4. A sunny afternoon drinking beer in a hot tub while watching the Yankees lose.

3. Watching a two-year-old playing and laughing in the exact spot where his parents were married.

2. White Spring salmon barbequed by a master, who also caught it.

1. Milo asking me to kiss his toes, then saying "Thank you, Daddy" when I do.

Arrr, kitty!

2007-09-19T08:14:00.000-07:00

Wow, everyone's getting into it, including teh LOLcats.

Happy International Talk Like a Pirate Day!

Talk like a pirate... or we'll pillage your booty!

2007-09-19T08:01:00.000-07:00

It's International Talk Like a Pirate day! Now get out tharrr and start shivering those timbers!

Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates

2007-09-18T16:20:00.000-07:00

Only one more sleep until International Talk Like a Pirate Day...

There, now pirates everywhere can get wired up and communicating faster and more efficiently. Convenient for the hook-handed too! Arrr!

Pirates by David Byrne... limited time only

2007-09-17T08:03:00.000-07:00

Well, my well-in-advance post about International Talk Like a Pirate Day scooped Boing Boing by over an hour!

Even so, BoingBoing still puts out the best collection of pirate links every year, and this year is no exception.

So, in the spirit of spreading the word about one of my all-time favourite websites while simultaneously linking to their exceptional content from my own site, here's David Byrne singing "Pirates" from the album Grown Backwards.

This link will disappear on September 20, so if you're here after that date, click on this link for BoingBoing's Pirate Zen 2007.

International Talk Like a Pirate Day is September 19, so keep it on the down low until then... then let arrr rip!

(Oh, and that image above of the undercover pirate is a t-shirt just waiting to be reprinted... for some reason it keeps selling out! Go here and tell them to reprint it!)

Correction...
Frank points out: "Actually, Web Zen puts together the annual Pirate zen special including the David Byrne stream. Boing Boing reposts the weekly zens - and we appreciate the bump Xeni gives us."

Milo's latest driving lesson

2007-09-15T11:58:00.000-07:00

Um, hey Poppa? How come I had to learn to drive in a brown AMC Eagle and Milo gets to learn in an award-winning 1935 Chevy pickup?

I'm just askin'...

Get ready for another International Talk Like A Pirate Day!

2007-09-14T08:45:00.000-07:00

The leaves are turning, the days are getting shorter, the air is getting cooler... and the eyepatches and peg legs are about to be dusted off... International Talk Like a Pirate Day is upon us again!

On ~~Tuesday~~ Wednesday (Thanks, Tim) September 19, (less than a week away!) the good people... er, I mean the scurvy dogs at the official home of International Talk Like a Pirate Day will have meaning in their lives once more. They'll be swinging their cutlasses and plundering whatever booty they can get their hooks on, just like pirates all over the world.

And of course, this day is extra special for the Dread Pirate Robert too: it falls on the same week as my wedding anniversary, so my lusty wench of a wife will have to deal with my inadvertent mashups of the two events. "Happy Anniversary, sweetie... Prepare to be boarded! Arrr!" That'll turn out well.

If you need a bit of a primer on how to get yo' pirate on in the 21st century, check out Pirattitude by Cap'n Slappy and Ol' Chumbucket (Mark Summers and John Baur) or just visit the website -- more pirate stuff than you can fit on a galleon.

Get ready for Wednesday!

Hard and Fast Rules of the House

2007-09-12T18:29:00.001-07:00

Hard and Fast Rules of the House

...as quoted by Milo five minutes ago:

Milo: "No pooping on Mommy!"

Mommy: "That's right Milo. Remember THAT one..."

Is Five Alive?

2007-09-11T12:24:00.000-07:00

Okay, riddle me this: how can a beverage like Five Alive, a blend of orange, lemon, grapefruit, tangerine, and lime juices (plus a hefty dollop of high fructose corn syrup or "sugar/glucose-frucose," depending on where you are) have NO VITAMIN C?

That's what it says on the side of my can, that it's "not a significant source" of Vitamin C, even with all that juice and extra citric acid.

Well, Vitamin C degrades over time and by the time the expiry date hits, there may be no measurable Vitamin C left in the can. (Hey, so maybe there is!)

I guess there's potentially a bit in the concentrates they originally add to the vats, but the whole process must basically remove any and all nutrients from the stuff to the point where it's about as nutritious as a Coke. Or a Coke can. Or a pile of sand.

Come to think of it, a pile of sand doesn't contain ANY high fructose corn syrup, so that may be a better option, if you're not too thirsty.

I'm sure that in the past, the stuff was actual juice. Wasn't it originally developed by Minute Maid, before Minute Maid got bought by Coke?

And I remember when Fruitopia was actual juice. They got bought by Coke and turned into a kind of Kool-Aid too. And even Sobe used to be kind of nutritious and not full of corn syrup, until they got bought out too.

I know it's not as profitable, but I really with that they'd make some kind of beverage that isn't a major cause of obesity and tooth rot.

Oh wait, there's always water: Coke brand Dasani water -- for the same price as a Coke! Think of all the money they save by leaving out the sugar altogether!

Friday Movie Quiz

2007-09-07T10:33:00.000-07:00

Since I don't have any new photos to upload (I promise to go nuts with the camera this weekend) and it's Friday, here's a movie quiz for everyone. Good luck beating me!

(As always, I was tempted to go back and figure out what I got wrong, but I'm learning to live with failure...)

95%

FilmCritic.com - Movie Reviews

Sex Ed in the 1960's

2007-09-04T10:53:00.000-07:00

Um, is it just me, or were all the moms of the 60's on Valium?

If the only tool you have is a hammer...

2007-08-30T21:24:00.000-07:00

I used to write about current events and politics on my blog before my life was taken over by parenthood. I still read voraciously and keep up on the news, but not so much posting.

But, some things need to be commented on.

Like, for instance, even more proof that the government of the United States (the Republican adminstration, to be specific) has been a bunch of lying, corrupt, weasels interested solely in their own profit, regardless of the cost to America (half a trillion dollars, 3000+ dead American soldiers), Iraq (half a million dead civilians, loss of stability, electricity, water, security...), the world (increase in world chaos, loss of American face), or themselves (loss of Congress, looming loss of the Senate and the Presidency).

Here's what General Wesley Clark, former head of the Joint Chiefs, said in a recent interview:

About ten days after 9/11, I went through the Pentagon and I saw Secretary Rumsfeld and Deputy Secretary Wolfowitz. I went downstairs just to say hello to some of the people on the Joint Staff who used to work for me, and one of the generals called me in. He said, “Sir, you’ve got to come in and talk to me a second.” I said, “Well, you’re too busy.” He said, “No, no.” He says, “We’ve made the decision we’re going to war with Iraq.” This was on or about the 20th of September. I said, “We’re going to war with Iraq? Why?” He said, “I don’t know.” He said, “I guess they don’t know what else to do.” So I said, “Well, did they find some information connecting Saddam to al-Qaeda?” He said, “No, no.” He says, “There’s nothing new that way. They just made the decision to go to war with Iraq.” He said, “I guess it’s like we don’t know what to do about terrorists, but we’ve got a good military and we can take down governments.” And he said, “I guess if the only tool you have is a hammer, every problem has to look like a nail.”

So I came back to see him a few weeks later, and by that time we were bombing in Afghanistan. I said, “Are we still going to war with Iraq?” And he said, “Oh, it’s worse than that.” He reached over on his desk. He picked up a piece of paper. And he said, “I just got this down from upstairs” -- meaning the Secretary of Defense’s office -- “today.” And he said, “This is a memo that describes how we’re going to take out seven countries in five years, starting with Iraq, and then Syria, Lebanon, Libya, Somalia, Sudan and, finishing off, Iran.” I said, “Is it classified?” He said, “Yes, sir.” I said, “Well, don’t show it to me.” And I saw him a year or so ago, and I said, “You remember that?” He said, “Sir, I didn’t show you that memo! I didn’t show it to you!”

There you have it. Grounds for impeachment. And charges of treason.

**UPDATE:**

Jon Solz of VoteVets.org just wrote a great article on the embarrassing flameout of Bush's policy, and the military's lack of belief and trust in him in general. Read it here.

Milo is very verbal

2007-08-30T09:14:00.000-07:00

Wow, it's been a while since I used this blog to rave about how smart my offspring is. Usually I'm crowing about how cute he is, but dammit, the boy is brilliant.

With my extensive background in developmental psychology and early childhood education, I know the benchmarks for children and Milo is a frakkin' Einstein.

He's starting to pretend and imagine, and tell us about it. For example, in the past two days he's said:

"Milo's a robot from outer space."

"I'm a lion! Rrraaarrr!"

"Milo's a troll... I'll eat you up!" (Conflating the story of The Three Billy Goats Gruff with Where the Wild Things Are.)

He's also starting to get a handle on language and making up words. When he was eating dinner the other day, I was giving him some rice balls to go with his soup (he likes his rice in ball form) and the sticky rice got all over my hands. Milo said: "Daddy's hands are ricey. Wash hands, Daddy."

Yup, "ricey." He's coined a word.

Just a few minutes later, he was finishing his ice cream and going for the melted remnants... "Yummy ice cream juice, Daddy!"

I'm calling it "ice cream juice" from now on too.

I know, he's a genius. Must be the genes.

Milo's weekend on Vancouver Island

2007-08-13T08:36:00.000-07:00

Despite the hell that is BC Ferries, we made it to Gramma and Poppa's house for the August long weekend. And even though there were tons of things to do in Comox (the Filberg Festival, Comox Nautical Days...) we stayed home with the simple things, like the lawnmower.

By lawnmower, I mean tractor. And just look who had the bigger smile. To be fair, Milo's only not smiling because he's entranced. He got to steer too.

Out on the sandbars of Miracle Beach at low tide, the sand is too fine and wet to make good sand castles, but the geoducks (pronounced gooey-ducks, people) are an endless source of amusement. Man, those things can squirt in my eye, and I'm 6'5". They go right over Milo's head.

Crabs, anemones, little fish, sand dollars... what a great place to explore.

We did actually make it into town one day, so Gramma could run some errands. We stopped at Marina Park to wander around, and Milo went on his first carnival-type ride.

He looked even more uncertain than he did on the lawnmower, but the little girl beside him talked him down. And when he got off, the first thing he said was "again!"

Oh, important note: We had the best mini-donuts I've ever eaten that day. Screw the doughy, undercooked ones at the PNE, these ones were absolutely perfect.

So much for our weekend on the island. As Poppa said, we really need to spend more than a weekend. I guess we'll head over there again for Thanksgiving, and plan for a week next summer.

Back in Vancouver, we took advantage of the holiday Monday to head up Lynn Valley. The hike from the Cleveland Dam down to the salmon hatchery isn't long and you can walk in the woods while breathing all the fresh oxygen.

Of course, it went right to Milo's head and he just ran until his little legs couldn't take it anymore. Then Daddy got to carry him on his shoulders all the way back up.

Milo sees another Vancouver Canadians baseball game

2007-08-09T15:17:00.000-07:00

This boy's gonna be a left-handed reliever. To that end, I've been making him throw with his left hand and he went to his first ball game when he was three weeks old. I don't remember much about the game other than I was terrified that a foul ball would hit him while he slept in his little basket.

This time, he knows what baseball is, he watches the game, and he was thrilled to be able to run around the stands, which were mostly protected by a layer of netting. Whew.

Okay, so he didn't pay attention to EVERY part of the game... he wanted to wear Daddy's hat for a while.

And he wanted to wear Mommy's sunglasses too.

This just made him more comfortable wearing his own shades, which can only be a good thing.

However, like the birthday party, too much excitement can wear a boy out. He ate almost a whole hot dog and then crashed.

At Mika's birthday party

2007-08-09T10:41:00.000-07:00

It was everything you'd expect from a birthday party: kids running everywhere (upstairs, downstairs, and in the back yard), adults outnumbering children roughly two to one, treats, presents, and the main event -- cake!

Although Milo's really more into the ice cream part of it. Whenever he gets a bowl of it (which he does if it's a hot day, we don't need him to go to bed right away, and he ate a good dinner), he looks at it and says "Happy Birthday to Milo!"

As you'd expect from a two-year-old, the party wore him out. All the cake, kids, noise, and fun necessitated some quiet time with Mom, looking at Mika's collection of Milo's birthday party photos. Good times.

Backyard with Milo

2007-07-28T14:20:00.000-07:00

Milo was having such a good time in the backyard that we decided to get the camera and capture the cuteness. But as soon as he saw me with the camera, he was off at full speed.

He just kept grabbing at the camera until I discovered that if I tickled him, he'd stop reaching for it. Hilarity ensues.

And not a bad photo for taking it one-handed while holding a wiggly monkey boy in the other hand.

Milo and his accessories

2007-07-28T12:04:00.000-07:00

He's always loved brooms and sweeping, which is good since our house doesn't have any carpets. And we have roaming tumbleweeds of dog hair.

So when we were shopping last week Milo found a child-size broom and we bought it for him. He got home and turned it into a weapon.

He calmed down and can now sweep with it -- we just swept leaves out back.

We seem to have lost Milo's sunglasses and when we were talking about it, Milo demanded to wear some sunglasses. How does he look in Dolce & Gabbana?

Milo's new hiding place

2007-07-21T12:28:00.001-07:00

Milo has just found a new hiding place. He methodically emptied out the top shelf, climbed in, and asked mom to close the doors.

Hey, if I could fit in there, I'd think it was a pretty cool place for a nap too. You're not going to fit in there for long, buddy, so enjoy it while you can!

Milo in the Cupboard: The Movie

2007-07-21T12:27:00.000-07:00

Summertime fun with Milo

2007-07-16T11:58:00.000-07:00

On Wednesday we went to the Granville Island water park -- fun, free, and not so crowded on weekdays. It was just us when we got there so we had some quality boys' time.

Not too long after, a couple of moms I know came by too. We're now Facebook friends and it's the first time I've seen them in years. In fact, I just met Jack, who, at five years old, is now as old as his Dad was when I first met him. Eep.

Yesterday was Alex's birthday party and Milo had all new trucks to play with.

For my money, the little bubble machine was the hit of the party. No soapy slime all over your hands and pants, just bubbles... until the soap runs out. It felt like we were all on Lawrence Welk.

Fireworks vs. Fireflies

2007-07-10T09:28:00.000-07:00

Me: Did you have a great time in Indiana, Milo? Did you see lots of fireflies?

Milo: Fireflies! Boom!

Me: Not the fireworks, the fireflies. They glowed in the dark.

Milo: Fireflies! BIG Boom!

Actually, exploding fireflies would be pretty cool... loud noise and phosphorescent green goo flying everywhere...

Birthday at Maplewood Farm

2007-06-29T09:41:00.000-07:00

So Milo's birthday party was a rousing success -- thanks to everyone who came or sent birthday wishes!

It was a little iffy to start with... the massive downpour at 9:30 a.m. led to most of the party guests showing up in gumboots and raincoats, even though by 10:30 a.m., when the party started, it had cleared up and turned into a lovely day.

As a bonus, the entire farm was deserted for most of the morning, so we had the place to ourselves! Thanks, rainstorm!

If you ask Milo about his birthday party, he'll either start singing "Happy Birthday to You" or talk about the big tire. Yep, the big tractor tire in the goat run was a hit. He played on it by himself for a while before the goats came to check him out.

At one point, there were four kids and four curious goats all cohabiting comfortably, even though the goats were clearly looking for some tasty treat to gnaw on. For some reason, they really liked the dangly bits on my jacket.

Since Milo loved the pony ride SO much last time, we booked a pony for an hour to make sure that all the kids got all the rides they wanted. As you probably expect from a gang of two-year-olds, that translated into one ride each for the kids that weren't too freaked out to try it.

We tried to get Milo on for a second go-round, but he was content with one. Thanks Farmer Jim, for being so patient. And thanks Gorby for being a great pony.

Two candles, and an ice cream cake made from Mango gelato. That's the cake I want for my birthday. La Casa Gelato is the greatest ice cream shop in the city. Word.

And Milo blew out the candles, one at a time. Hooray!

Attention fellow attendees: send photos please! The kids saw horses, cows, pigs, chickens, bunnies, peacocks, sheep, donkeys, ducks, and many more animals, but I was too busy playing to document it all. I guess there's always next time...

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday to Milo!

2007-06-25T08:46:00.000-07:00

As of about seven hours ago, Milo is now two years old!

It's hard to believe that exactly two years ago I was holding a tiny eight-pound bald baby who'd only ever pooped once in his life, right on my chest.

Today Milo can say how old he is and he's really close to holding up two fingers when he does it.

He's already had a pre-party with his Gramma and Poppa, and yesterday he had a birthday party at Maplewood Farm with a bunch of his peers: Harris, Caitlyn, Alex, Ronin, and his beloved Mika. Then we went to visit Nana and have another little party.

And today, his actual birthday, we have a few more presents to give him. He was just too tired last night to open them all.

So Happy Birthday dear Milo, Happy Birthday to you.

Love,
Daddy xoxo

(Photos will be posted after I get home from work...)

Milo came to watch Daddy play softball

2007-06-15T11:08:00.001-07:00

Originally uploaded by beebs

Thanks for the great pic, Beebs.

Milo had a wonderful time at the game and he got to see Daddy play ball. And we won — it was a rout, too.

Fun was had by all, and we would have played longer but the umpire invoked the mercy rule so he could get home faster. Too bad, because Daddy was on a hot streak.

First dip in the outdoor pool of the year!

2007-06-12T16:20:00.000-07:00

Milo still cracks up when he thinks of his buddy Harris drinking the bathwater and making "yuck" faces. When we went to Harris' place and played in the sprinkler, I thought Milo would pass out from laughing that much.

But man, was that water cold. The boys didn't care -- they just went down the slide, into the pool, and ran through the sprinkler until their lips turned blue. And Milo had a great sleep that night.

Oh, all the watermelon gave him the pure natural sourced sugar his body could handle.

And I just like this pic of Milo's knees tucked up under his turtleneck because it looks like he has boobs. At least that's what I first thought when I glanced at the photo as it played on a slideshow. What are you saying about me and my mind?

Happy at the playground

2007-06-12T15:54:00.000-07:00

You know, it's not until Milo grabs onto those bars and shakes his head so hard that his hat flies off that I realize how long his hair is getting. And he was bald for so long.

Poppa pointed out that his bangs are starting to get in his eyes, but I really don't want to get his hair cut yet. Hey, it won't be blond for much longer.

We had such a good time at the park. Milo found about half a dozen kids he knew, including Sam (below) and Chloe, and just had so much fun for so long on this crowded jungle gym that I kept taking pictures.

Some of Milo's Firsts

2007-06-06T14:06:00.000-07:00

First powdered jelly donut (blueberry):

First pony ride:

First train ride (and first visit to Crash Crawley's):

Milo's footstool makes him bigger

2007-06-06T06:00:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Milo's Poppa, he now has a footstool and can brush his teeth by himself. He can also grab all the stuff that used to be out of reach -- like my contact lenses, electric shaver, toothbrushes, shaving cream, soap, and hair products. It's messy around here.

It's the greatest footstool ever. Of course, at the current rate of growth he'll be able to reach everything himself by August.

Hey, we just measured him and he's exactly three feet tall! And it's less than a month to go before his birthday.

What a great pose. There's just something about getting butt naked and ready for a bath that makes him want to run to his room and put on his Spider-Man rain boots.

When the sun comes back, we're prepared. Milo actually LIKES getting suntan lotion put on... mostly because of the tickling. And he'll even try the shades on for a few seconds. Now if we can just get him to keep them on.

Attack of the Frog Prince

2007-06-05T15:48:00.000-07:00

Milo has a big stuffed frog. It's mouth opens and closes with a zipper, making it a great storage space for pajamas, toys, and surprises. It also fits nicely on all of our heads. Milo loves it when we play the "Frog Prince is eating my head!" game and, after laughing crazedly when it eats Daddy's head, it then becomes Milo's turn.

This time, he didn't bother to take it off. He just wore it around for about half an hour. Here's Milo roaring at the dog.

Oh my, i think it's cut off the circulation to his head... he's getting sleepy... notice how the Frog Prince's eyes are staring down at the soon-to-be-digested boy... I think that our Frog Prince is part python.

He looks like a big boy, doesn't he?

2007-06-05T15:38:00.000-07:00

It might just be the shirt, but he's looking bigger every day.

I know it's blurry, but that's what makes it artistic.

The other day, Milo was eating a cracker. He took two bites, looked at the cracker, and said "Truck! Vrooom!" The cracker kind of looked like a delivery van.

He's starting to imagine and draw parallels. Last night in the bath, he was playing with his cups and sipping on them, then smiled at me and said "coffee!" We sipped coffee together and he laughed.

Milo is blessed with four doting grandparents. Here are two of them, spending some time reading to him.

Milo is also blessed with a keen fashion sense and an eye for quality (huge) footwear. Here he is trying on Mommy's brand new Fluevog Sugar boots. They look better on Mom.

Milo is 22.5 months old now...

2007-05-15T08:19:00.000-07:00

Milo really loves his blankie. He likes to wrap it around his head, especially when he's sleepy. I wish he wouldn't hold it while eating his breakfast -- that milky cereal gets all over it and means I have to wash it and he's without it for hours. Sigh.

This morning he was lying on the bed, with his blankie wrapped around his head, and he made a little hole to look out of. He said "Hi Mommy! Window!"

Man, he's smart.

Okay, so he should take his clothes off BEFORE he gets into the bath. So maybe he's not so street-smart yet. I think he was just investigating the drain.

This is all about perspective. Here we see what Daddy looks like to Milo. And Milo gets to look down on Daddy, which he thinks is hilarious.

Speaking of perspective, here's a perspective of Milo's belly. He likes it.

Random Milo pictures to clear out my folder

2007-05-04T14:44:00.000-07:00

In response to the growing criticism, okay -- I'll put some more recent pictures up. But first I need to put up some more old ones.

Mmm... delicious soapy bathwater. Have another mouthful!

Hooray for Poppa! Hooray for the Canucks! Hooray for still having one Canadian team in the playoffs! (Hoo-boy, that Buffalo/Ottawa series should be a good one.)

Milo loves his Peek-a-zoo. Four months of solid play and he still hasn't lost a piece. Plus he can name the animals and most of the shapes.

With the sky the colour of the backgrounds in 300, Milo poses in his Bears outfit. (The Bears suit, the Colts toque, and the Peek-a-zoo were all awesome presents from the family in Indiana. Thanks again everybody!) This was back when it was cold.

One of the rarest photos you'll ever see, my brother-in-law Brent smiling in a photo.

Milo usually kicks the full-sized soccer ball, but sometimes it's more fun with the happy face. It tires him out a little faster.

Milo is more reckless

2007-04-24T14:49:00.000-07:00

Parents: try not to confuse your children. Give them one option, or they'll make a mish-mash of what they hear.

Trains, for instance, should say "choo-choo" or "chugga-chugga," but not both. According to Milo, they now say "chooga-chooga." Yup, scarred for life.

Look, his little mouth is right in the middle of a "chooga."

Oh yeah, I said reckless. But first, let us comment on the fashion sense. Blaze orange diapers, complimented by shiny Spider-man rain boots. A daredevil's worksuit.

And he's workin' it... trick ridin' on the trike, standing on a wobbly wheeled object... this is going to end well...

In a completely unrelated incident, here's a partially healed split lip. Have you seen how much blood comes outta those things?

And by "completely unrelated," I mean same recklessness, different day, with just a tad less coordination.

Milo likes the Vancouver Aquarium

2007-04-23T15:59:00.000-07:00

Man, the Vancouver Aquarium rocks. Most especially on the second Saturday of every month when they open it early for members (members with kids who get up at 5:30 a.m.) and run special programs for kids.

Regular days are great too, but that early opening means we can spend all morning there and get home in time for a nap.

Look up, Waaaay up... and see the flying dolphin!

Everyone loves the otters. One of the otters is actually named Milo too! Now we just have to figure out which one so we can love him best.

Raffi is verboten. Don't even THINK of singing it. Just admire the belugas (or "boogas," in Milo-speak) and watch how cool they are.

Milo's favourite? The big sea lion. I think because it has "lion" in its name, and because we saw him roar and breathe his stinky fishy moist breath all over the people beside us. That was cool.

Milo inside

2007-04-20T10:33:00.000-07:00

Even when it wasn't raining, the weather was chilly and damp. Inside was much more comfortable.

With Gramma's homemade cookies and a little toy wagon, it looks like Milo was enjoying himself.

Poppa's showing Milo how to ride his horsey... he now makes clip-clop noises when he rides it around our living room!

Let us not forget the allure of the humble box.

Now we know where Milo gets those faces from. It's true, your face will stay that way.

Milo outside

2007-04-20T10:29:00.000-07:00

Not raining, time to get outside...

The noble wheelbarrow: more fun than a boring old stroller!

We took a walk through the woods... or at least SOME of us walked, while Milo got the panoramic view.

Winter windstorms affected Miracle Beach Provincial Park too. No, Milo did not hit his head going under that tree. But it was close.

This is winter on Vancouver Island

2007-04-05T17:17:00.000-07:00

Striking a manly pose and clad only in a diaper and a pair of slippers, Milo soon grew accustomed to the unfamiliar surroundings of Gramma and Poppa's house.

Look at those strong rock-hard abs!

Although last year's visit to Santa went off without a hitch, we saw enough Santa-photo-ops-that-constitute-child-abuse (or at least ones that probably scarred the kids for life) that we thought a substitute Santa would be safer.

This Santa can be barfed on, kicked, bitten, and get his beard pulled with no ill effects. Plus his breath doesn't smell like Jack Daniels.

Hey, by the way, it's Milo's first wrapping paper tube! Slobbered on! And is he doing a "hang loose" sign or what?

Christmas morning, wearing a new bib and checking out an indoor wagon.

And outdoors, on the front porch, looking pensive. Pensive? Time for a haiku...

Hear the seagulls' cries
Echoing across the waves
Smashing clams on rocks

Is that Poppa coming? Screw the poetry, time to be cute, dammit!

Knight Ride

2007-03-30T14:05:00.000-07:00

Okay, here's another of the coolest t-shirts ever made. This one is clearly paying homage to the Knight Rider himself, Mr. The Hoff.

Thanks again, Threadless.

Circumcision and HIV

2007-03-30T08:23:00.000-07:00

Recent reports suggest that circumcision has some effect on the spread of HIV:

"The evidence is really now quite conclusive that male circumcision is effective at preventing HIV among men," said Kevin De Cock, the top HIV-AIDS official for the World Health Organization, speaking in a conference call from Paris.

Apparently the data suggests that males who have been circumcised have a lower likelihood of contracting the virus.

Okay, two things here.

What this particular article doesn't mention (it's from the Washington Post) is that women have a HIGHER likelihood of contracting HIV from an infected circumsised male than from an infected uncircumcised one.

Get all that? Men who are kosher down there have a harder time catching it, but an easier time passing it on, and intact men can catch it more easily but aren't quite as big a risk to pass it on.

Only telling one side of the story seems pretty irresponsible. I expect this from the Moonie Times (who I originally thought published this story), but the WaPo should do better.

And the other thing? The top HIV official at the WHO is named Kevin De Cock. Heh heh heh.

Milo's holiday on the island

2007-03-28T12:28:00.000-07:00

Here's the kind of beach we're used to in British Columbia. Not bad for Christmas in the back yard.

And what would Christmas be without a little tippling?

Sigh, Poppa couldn't wait to give Milo a Christmas present. I think we were there for about an hour (if that) and he broke out the new rocking chair. Here's Milo, watching its current occupant rock.

Poppa shows him the RIGHT way to do it... con gusto!

Bum Rush the Charts

2007-03-20T14:32:00.000-07:00

What? You can buy a Black Lab song on iTunes for 99 cents and say "Screw You!" to the RIAA at the same time?

Oh, I'm so in.

Find out more at http://bumrushthecharts.blogspot.com

Toothpaste for Dinner

2007-03-20T08:19:00.000-07:00

Okay, I get the picture.

Costa Rica, Last post.

2007-03-08T06:55:00.000-08:00

Milo in the square, running like a maniac. See any pigeons in the picture? That's because he chased them all away.

Brace yourself, it's Milo's first clown.

Not too sure, but he didn't freak out. I consider it a successful first contact.

Once again, stupid Lonely Planet. No, the Museo de los Ninos (Children's Museum) does NOT open at 8:00 a.m., it opens at 10:00 a.m. We killed some time and went anyway. Turns out there was too much for Milo to see in one trip, with or without a nap.

It's actually an old prison painted yellow. Inviting, no?

And that's it! We headed to the airport that afternoon and made it back to Canada safe and sound.

Now I just have to get some Christmas photos up here before Easter.

Costa Rica Last Full Day

2007-03-07T13:09:00.000-08:00

Wow, I'm done. Had to cut a ton of photos, but at least it's finished. That's kind of how we felt after the vacation too. Exhausting, but oh-so-worth it. I just hope Milo remembers, and if he doesn't, we'll just show him a thousand photos. (Or go again!)

We walked around San Jose, and played in the park. Stupid Lonely Planet said the Museum of Shapes, Sounds, and Spaces (very kid-friendly) was open on Sundays. Not. The park was awesome. And Milo loved saying "statue" -- I don't think I've seen a park with more statues and monuments so close together.

Right behind the plants is the door to our room, where Milo is sleeping. And right under the bar is the fridge filled with beer. We met the bar owner who told us that if no one was around, just take the beer and pay him later. What a great place. And Costa Rica has some of the best beer outside of Canada.

This is morning just outside our room. Milo's a little milk-drunk and happy as can be.

And oh yeah, it's Christmas time! The tree in the city square was a nice reminder. It's easy to forget when the weather is this nice!