Merry Christmas Everybody!
Yes, Merry Christmas. Happy Kwanzaa! Have a great Hanukkah too. And a Joyeux Noel, a fun Festivus, and a Super Christmukkah to you and yours. In short, Happy Freakin' Holidays to you all -- even you (or us) god-forsaken atheists. And to all the pagans (and astronomers) out there, hope you enjoyed your Winter Solstice. If there's anyone I missed (probably more than half the world), then I just hope you have an absolutely perfect non-denominational weekend. Except to you Pastafarians, you freaks.
(Just kidding -- as the Dread Pirate Robert I am already in full pirate regalia (the only outfit Pastafarians can testify in) more than I care to admit. Save me some of that Holy Spaghetti!)